How to pray

Dear sinyorita

I am sleepy! I am 300 kilometres away
from home and its 10pm… What I
am trying to say is, this will be very
short!

I went to buy lunch the other day
(Saturday) . When I got there, I found
out I had forgotten my wallet at
“home”. I live on the 3rd floor and
you do not just go up 55 steps and
come down again then go back up…
You will die… So I check my Mpesa
balance… KSH127. I go to the
nearest Mpesa place and withdraw
100 bob… The Mpesa woman was
looking at me funny…
When I went back I met
a woman walking out holding two
packets of chips
She was BIG… AND YELLOOOO… And
wore semi thick dreadlocks on her
head… Her hips were massive… They
looked like they came straight from
Mount Olympus… Her breasts were
steady and ready… Like security
forts… They stood high… Almost
touched her chin…
She was wearing bright green pants
and a black blouse that was almost
transparent… That is translucent
right? I could see the idea of her
body…
She wore sandals with white straps…
They are those 1000 bob ones from
Mr. Price.Yes I know ‘em!
Her eyes met mine and I swallowed
hard… I walked passed her…
When I was at the counter I said a
little, harmless, innocent prayer,
“God, if I see that woman again, I
WILL SNIPE IT!”
I got my Mc Fries and walked
home keeping a keen eye out for
green pants…
When I got to my door, AND I SHIT
YOU NOT, the Yello Rasta was at my
door! She was texting frantically… I
stopped for a bit on the stairs…
“Do you have any idea where block
50C is?” She asked…
I almost said, “inside that door!” I
could not utter a single word… I was
petrified! I just pointed towards the
direction I thought Block 50C was…
I learnt not to pray for things I am
not ready for!

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