AT 28

As you get older, you begin to zero down on your options. There’s a certain pruning that begins to happen. You begin entering an energy-saving mode. You begin to ignore some things. You become particular about the battles you pick. You will be in the middle of an argument and deep down you wonder; “why do I care?” 

You stop persisting on things. That time you no longer have. You no longer have the energy to convince people otherwise. If you’re driving, you drive at optimum speed, let others pass. If you ask her out and she claims she’s busy. That bus immediately passes. You stop giving second chances. Again, you don’t have that energy to give the second chance. You are in a mode where you realize the world is filled with so many people. You start demanding better treatment. You begin to adore your peace. Why go to a place with loud music, fully packed, hiked drinks and poor customer service? You realize you can do better throwing a party at a friend’s small hangout. At least here, you are supporting a friend, and you are at peace. As you grow older, you begin to pity those who have grudges on you. Because you are now in a mode of; “I don’t give a f*#k.” If you don’t feed me or house me, why should I be concerned about your opinion of me? I have a friend who often asks; “what do you do for a living?” Basically, before you engage him in a conversation or argument, it should be valuable enough to affect the value of the dollar. You begin attaining some conservatism. You love your things a certain way. That’s you. And you stop being apologetic. You drop on the acting. You become more real. If you don’t want something, you make it clear. If you don’t have money, you don’t make any false promises. As you grow older, you begin to see younger versions of you in people. You look at them doing the same silly things you used to do. You smile, you remember your days, you become more empathetic. You are almost tempted to tell them; “enjoy your silly moments while you still can.” 

As you grow older, you realize that people fade. Things fade. Things don’t last. People die. People give birth. People divorce. People cheat. People do good, and people do bad. As you grow older, your youthful idealism gets refined by realism. You begin to understand your parents better. You realize why they took certain decisions. You realize they fought battles you knew not. You become humble. You begin to value your friends, your family and that sense of community. 

Who knew that I would love ugali na dagaa? Who knew that I would hate fried things? Who knew that I would fancy local food over fast foods? Who knew that I would long for the countryside peace? Who knew that I would hate watching TV? Who knew that I would look forward to a beer at home than one in a bar with music blasting high? Who knew that I would love Mchicha, kachumbari, nduma na uji ? What about chai ya rangi? Now that I am older, I realize there is so much wheat in our diet. Chappati, maandazi, cake, bread. It is not healthy! Anyway as you get older, you take things at your pace. You find your style, your voice, you make peace with who you are, and who you are not. You are no longer trying to prove a point. You ‘come’ when you want. No need to prove you can last years. There’s no need to have the best dance strokes. You simply dance and enjoy yourself. You stop competing in Nairobi’s bongo flava jams. If people want to squeeze in, you let them in. Scandals no longer shock you. Death doesn’t shock you. It is all life 

Growing older is the highest form of privilege